Thursday, March 24, 2005
I CAN DO MY GLISSANDO!!!!
TODAY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY IN MT LIFE.
I CAN DO MY GLISSANDO!
okayy.. guess my blog's kinda.. un-updated.. i've been so busy with my stupid work that i couldn't find time to go online. i think i shall continue updating WEEKYLY or whenever i feel like it. i love my horn and *ryoki tachibana
i deleted the post on the ACSI band exchange. everyone said it was dangerous. hahhas. so sads. grr. i've got one extra ticket for the chamber music brass masterclass at the esplanade. anyone wanna come? life is seriously sucky for me. argh. i love my horn and *ryoki tachibana
quarreled with my mom. or rather, the whole family. contemplated running away and bunking myself at daphne's place ( i haven't talked to her about it.. ) for a few days.. at least enough to scare my mom. but since i've put her place on my blog, i'm going to change hideout. bwhahahhha. maybe shermin's. or atiqah. or someone. or maybe even amanda. haha. can't understand it. is it me? am i really that hard to live with? am i always grumpy? if i'm always happy all the time, i don't think people will appreciate me for who i am. maybe i really take my family for granted. much as i'd like to be happy every second, minute, hour of everyday, i cannot fulfill my own wish. i love my horn and *ryoki tachibana
started reading Manga. I LOVE IT!!! that's why you see a 'ryoki tachibana' at the end of every paragraph. i think he's the cutest anime character i've ever seen. *thinking of joining this fan club* oh how i wish my prince charming would be like him. please go read "hot gimmick". it will give you a better idea of ryoki. *still entertaining hopeless romantic fantasies about that darling* it's such a fairy tale come true! the proud and arrogant prince finally lowers himself to the hapless heroine while she faces problems with her ddignity and they end up getting together, ans this takes place in real life. where real situations happen like peer pressure to go have sex or somit. hah. i love my horn and *ryoki tachibana
in the book there was Akane, a 14 year old girl who has done the big IT. i was just thinking to myself... was it really like that? i think i lead a very very sheltered life.. no boys.. no people to fool around with.. like Janet Lim. (please read Sold For Silver by Janet Lim) will i fall to peer pressure like that? can't really imagine staying intact till i get married. i think i'll feel so.. awkward. hah. won't be able to fit in. *grins* too bad ryoki is a character. i love my horn and *ryoki tachibana
been really really angry and M. hah. she's acting STUPID. thinks she's so skinny. *big problem with her mentality mans* but.. i need to lose weight TOO. i've been junking on ice cream cuz i've been bloody depressed. *not my fault* feel so unloved. just can't find acceptance. not anywhere. the person i'm the closest to is not the person who i'm closest to. i'm fine with that. think we're stuck together cuz we're ALWAYS together. our register numbers are FOREVER one after another. hahas. i love my horn and *ryoki tachibana
bloody shits. i feel UNLOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *screams*life seriously sucks big time. no mood to even play. haha.. glissando glissando. i love you!i love my horn and *ryoki tachibana
i need a ryoki with me now.. i need love.. *sniff sniff* i feel so stupidly used and taken advantaged of. ass. i love my horn and *ryoki tachibana
a| n| @ 8:44 PM
A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He
painted a sign advertising
the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on
the edge of his yard.
As he was driving the last nail into the post, he
felt a tug on his
overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little
boy. "Mister," he said,
"I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat of
the back of his neck,
"These puppies come from fine parents and cost a
good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching
deep into his pocket,
he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to
the farmer.
"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take
a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a
whistle. "Here, Dolly!"
he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp
ran Dolly
followed by four little balls of fur. The little
boy pressed his face
against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with
delight. As the
dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy
noticed something else
stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little
ball appeared, this one
noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a
somewhat awkward
manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the
others, doing its best to
catch up....
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to
the runt. The farmer
knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you
don't want that puppy.
He will never be able to run and play with you like
these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the
fence, reached down, and
began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing
so he revealed a steel
brace running down both sides of his leg attaching
itself to a specially
made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said,
"You see sir, I don't
run too well myself, and he will need someone who
understands." With tears
in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up
the little pup.
Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.
"How much?" asked the
little boy. "No charge," answered the farmer,
"There's no charge for love."
this one really made me cry and made me wonder if there was really such a thing as 'no charge for love'. would there be someone i can give so much to? would there ever be someone to give so much to me? i don't think so.. because unlike the 'unfortunate' or rather, lucky dog, many of us fail to find the ONE, be it, a pet or a spouse. well.. some food for thought..
a| n| @ 8:44 PM
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
a| n| @ 9:01 PM
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
a| n| @ 9:01 PM
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
a| n| @ 9:01 PM
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
a| n| @ 9:01 PM
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
a| n| @ 9:01 PM
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
a| n| @ 9:01 PM
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
a| n| @ 9:01 PM
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
a| n| @ 9:01 PM
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
a| n| @ 9:01 PM
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
a| n| @ 9:01 PM
today was as boring as yesterday. sighs. but, at least, this time there was a guest conductor and i must say, we have improved after hearing comments given by him. i really really hope to improve a lot more. i feel so.. un-up to standard. sighs. and i haven't started on my homework yets. oh well. i don't care. back to Mr. Orah. he's so cuteeeeee! as in.. he looks.. rodent-ish. i'm not trying to be mean.. he just looks like an adorable bunny.. and he shared some funny anecdotes.. (: my SL couldn't stop laughing.. the only thing bad about him is that, he doesn't speak loud enough. ): the way he conducts is als damn funny.. you people should invite him to guest conduct your band!!
blehh. mr. tan was yelling at us today. said we weren't giving our all. grr. and said we weren't putting enough effort. it's true, sometimes i slack, but, hell, he should at least understand... i can't take it anymore. so tired. i'm quite happy.. there's an exchange programme at ACSI. and we're going.. *WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
H came to look for me today. why? she was asking me to ask my mom to write a letter. and she was complaining about having cca everyday. she thinks she's sufferring. i think she's stupid.
i'm damn pleased with myself todays. i didn't get too angry with M today. haha.. me, F, and L(new) resorted to talking in F language.. (: it's stupid, but it works.. hahas.. though my f language is too fast for them to understand.. they get the gist of it.. (:
felt so alone today as i was walking home from school. i'm still brooding over the fact that there's no him to love me the way i need him to. are my expectations of the perfect man too high? sigh.. *upsets* i hope i stop craving for the 'loved' feeling. i need to get on with life..
a| n| @ 7:49 PM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
today was a typical day. it was rather boring. as usual, my tongue feels like dropping out. sighhs. my lips are bruised! it's so gross.. my lovely lovely lips are going to look like shits by the time i hit the SYF. went to coro for luncheon today again. haha. we're like going there EVERYDAY. we spent like $46 and the seniors haven't paid me my MONEY. now i don't have a single cent in my name. isn't that such a sorry state?
i was talking to F about HL Marigold Milk today, and, M just HAD to follow our conversation again. i am getting so pissed. grr. by the way, H isn't here again. she only comes when she has problems and dumps them all on me. and me, being the 'nice guy' has to swallow everything up. sheesh. xiaolei (my god-brother) gave me a lecture on how to be happy.. *grins* i'm glad he actually did. he has a natural gift of cheering people up. his blog is on my links. take a peek!!
argh. life is such a bore. i cannot take it anymore. oooh! when i went to coro today and i think i met heitung's ex. haha. oh yeah. his name is thomas. *grins* erbbies. it was damn dumbb lo. haha.
hmmies. i walked to coro after dinner again. (i'm like.. so attracted to that place??) and gained 2 bloody blisters. my feet hurt!! *whines* sighh. so tired..
maybe you'll find her a better choice..
because i don't want you anymore..
why did you have to hurt me?
you don't know how much i hate you.
i don't need you anymore.
you're the one who's gonna lose out.
you'll never get me back again.
*SMILE*
a| n| @ 9:43 PM
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
that piggy wiggy louis said he wanted me to get rid of the sentence' louis is mean to mr. leng' in my last entry, so, if you check, all trace of his 'mistreating' of his conductor is gone! bwahahahah!
arghx. i'm so tired. my lips feel so.. dead. i think i won't be able to kiss for the rest of my life. my poor little tongue is going to drop out any moment too. stoopid articulation. i want to dieee. sighh.. a lot of things happened today. i think i have just met the ex-co of year 2006-2007! whoohoo! me, fifi, elizabeth, shahira, symira, carolyn, rebecca, tammy and grace koh went to Coro for lunch today. hahas. we're cool. serious. then we came back to the band room and had a damn funny time of singing disgustingly out of tune. wheeee!! SO FUN! i really really hope i make the ex-co for band next year when the seniors step down. sighh. how can i be so full of fire for the band and yet secretly feel like we won't make the gold this year? sighh.
i went to watch Hitch yesterday night and for the first time in my recent break up, i felt so bloody unloved. i couldn't help the feeling from enveloping me. my relationship with my mother is breaking apart too. now i feel even more unloved. i realised that being in a relationship and not being in a relationship has its good and bad points each. sigh.
in a relationship, you have someone to love you. to hold you when you're feeling down. to teach you the joy of living all over again. to hold your hand when you you're feeling insecure. to give you a peck on the forehead to reassure you that he will always always be there when you ever ever need him. at the same time, being in a relationship means that you don't have your freedom ( no more flirting girls!), you have less time to go out with your girl friends now that every moment of your precious time is spent with him and your friendships don't have such a strong foundation anymore. i regret giving friendship up for him. asshole.
not being in relationship has its good and bad points too. even though you don't have someone to do little sweet sweet things, lots of people do it to you, just not to that extent (imagine loads of guys smitten by you). you get your freedom (like duhh) but, no one gives you reassurance.. blahh blahh and all that rot. sometimes playing the 'bad girl' isn't always the best thing in life. being the one always pointed at for spoiling relationships isn't really a nice thing. sighh. i choose this life even though i know i'll come to regret it eventually.
sometimes life seems so contracictory. if you're never going to be in relationship, how would you know if Mr. Right comes along? but if you're in a relationship, how would you know if the next guy that comes along is better than the one you've captured? maybe it really takes fate, but people like me don't believe in fate. so, what happens? i htink i'll just lie stagnant and wait quietly on the shelf until the ONE comes. (:
got really really pissed with my friend M today. she is such a meanie. i was talking to HL Marigold Milk about some issues concerning another friend F. and she just HAD to listen into the conversation. okay. so i let her listen. fine. i made her promise not to say anything. and she even reassured me that none of whatever tht i was talking to HL Marigold Milk would ever get out. just now at the bus-stop, she shouted at me saying 'EH! YOU AND L FINISHED TALKING ABOUT WHAT THAT DUNNO WHAT HL MARIGOLD MILK ALREADY?' and i got super duper mad. even if she didn't know how to RESPECT ME AS A FRIEND, she should at least respect MY CONVERSATION right? what kind of friend is she? sheesh. she makes me wait EVERY DAY after school for her. i could always get home early instead of reaching home at 7 but that idiot makes me wait until we get HER friend Y. and of all things, she has NEVER, NEVER waited ONCE for me. *pissed*
got angry at my other friend H too. (btw, M, F, Y and HL marigold milk are not in anyway, connected to H). H, like M, only look me up when they don't have friends or need me to be there for them at that particular time. for them. what a disgusting habit. i'll make sure that hell, i will NEVER EVER treat my friends that way. H, told me to stop going mad over boys just cuz i met this ultra cute guy at the bus-stop outside school. HELLO? who was the desperate one that was so bloody hell boy crazy after EVERY guy? this is only ONE boy. arghs. i've got no more mood to blog now. so angry. -.-"
i hope that you can find..
a woman that will love you as much as i did. asshole.
a| n| @ 9:28 PM
Sunday, March 13, 2005
aw mans.. i just came back home from the HCJC concert.. that meanie Louis was such a big fats meanie. sheesh. i had to call him 4 times before i could finally claim my tickets. sheesh.. the concert was pretty okay.. the percussion and horns are damn strong. especially the stopped horns.. but damn, my thighs hurt!! so do my butt! bernita and i were whining like mads.. oh yeah! i met bernita's cousin.. she's cool.. sarah from
bedok south band. clarinetist. cools huh. haha.. they're band was pretty cool. after hearing them, me and bernita got really freaked out. we have all the gold bands on our day at the SYF. sighhs. i really really want that gold. very very badly. sighhs.. so sads.. i'll just do my best! I LOVE SMSB!
a| n| @ 1:22 PM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
oh mans. my thighs are aching so badly thanks to the punishments we got from the seniors. i don't understand it. they made us do 100 squats at one go. luckily, we got to rest at no. 50 and no. 78, for sending our instruments for repair (a lot). i didn't even send my instrument for repair. EVER. sighhs. we had an exchange programme with CHIJ Toa Payoh. it wasn't that bad. haha. i think my tone has deproved drastically. sighhs. i've got to work REALLY REALLY hard. syf. stress. oh! i had learning journey too. so you can imagine how much we'd walked. sighh..
a| n| @ 10:47 AM
